| Lick My Boots, Kiss My Ass | Your Life Is a Mess! |
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Expertise: hummmm........The art of you
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
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Member Since: 11/9/2004
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NecromancerI'm going to fucking Flordia for Chistmas!!!! I can't fucking wait, my mom is kind of scared that were driving there though, she watches too much TV. I also got an hot pink Ipod for Christmas (which I'm grounded for using and reasons I wont explain) but i love it! I might go to the Kill Hannah concert. I'm not sure if I really want to though, but this boy I know said he would get me a ticket if I go with him. He's cool, but not really my type which sucks because I dont like to hurt peoples feelings and all that crap. I'm also going to the Digital Mindy concert because my friends brother knows them personally so hopefully we could hang out backstage or something. That'd be sweet. Life seems awesome. I like being single and having my freedom and shit but I kind of in a way do wish I had a boyfriend. That way when I get high or something people wont take advantage of me, hopefully! Or just a boy I could talk to about anything, and to hold me and stuff. NOT LIKE JOSH! but there's no one like that and all the good guys are taken. I pretend as if I'm okay, thats why I've been such a stupid bitch lately. Your loves not what I'm looking for I dont wanna get hurt no more I feel I'd sacrafice myself For a girl thats just pretending
My Poem of the day: The girl That was Caged Somewhere in the city I seen my dead body. Her eyes were black and empty. I didn't know where she was going, where would a dead girl walk? She walked around like a normal living girl but the sight of her death infected skin and fading black lips,Wasn't exacly a beautiful sight. When I was younger and stupider, that's what I looked like. When I had gotten older I dragged her by her hair and hid her under the floor. I even had her caged for a while and would show my best friends my new pet dead girl. I made sure I would check the locks every night before I went to bed. and if she had something to say, I'd make her write it on her legs. But somehow this time I cant find her. Somehow she escaped. I looked in all the wrong places, first it was self mutilation, intoxication, old friends, boy's who don't give a shit, But I still couldn't seem to find her. All I can remember was that the last time I seen her, I'm not sure if it was her but she looked very familiar, like someone I'd met before. When I got home that day, and looked in the mirror and to my horror it's the girl with the empty eyes and black hair as she whispers in my ear, I'm like the scar that never heals.
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I think I might break up with Josh, theres just no emotion twards him and i kind of want to be single right now because theres no one i really like right now. Josh doesnt even seem to care about who I am and shit, i cant tell him things about me because were just not close like that and it's just not going to work, and he's a toltal fucking pervert, i think the only reason he was attracted to me was because I'm a twin but I dont see how guys could possibly think that someone would fuck thier own sister its just sick, they should eighter just go fuck themselves or thier mom or thier sister then. We have basically nothing in common and I just hate to be with him, Its like were complete strangers and I hate it. Anyways he was basically out of revenge, I'm dont know why I want so much revenge all the time, its really stupid. I want to see the lines on your skin of what you said you've written, I want to see you break I want to see the dissappoinment in your face. I want you to feel my pain. See the trace of blood slipping down your neck like the most beautiful lace. I've become a bitch, I've become bloodlust. The more I see you hurt it makes me feel better, makes my blood neutral. Things were never like this before. All this poison just isn't the answer anymore. I want a antidote, I want a fucking cure.
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My Bitch's name is Josh and he's hotter than you!Yes Yes I've got a boyfriend, he's awesome. Josh is awesome, he's in a fight club and he looks like that actor named Ashton (which by the way is my favorite actor)!!!!! I met him through a boy named Yuriy (kind of like Yurine) I know im mean, and i wish i cared. But Yuriy was spoiled so I decided to date Josh instead, because he's more fun and we can somewhat relate to eachother and he's in a fight club. I'm just glad I have a boyfriend now because I'm tired of people treating me like a kid. there are other reasons, but I won't say. Anyways I'm just glad I'm going out with him, he's SEEMS different from other guys I've met. | |||
the hate will cradle me to sleep tonightAwesome guys these days are so fucking rare....its getting so old, running into all the wrong people all the time...it gets old. very old. and boring. im tired of trying to find someone perfect for me, because that will never happen. this world is full of fucking retarded people..except my friends and family, romance is like a fucking joke. I miss all my old friends and boys i used to talk to when i was like 13. I miss andy, he wouldve done anything for me. But he's gone like a dream. I make myself fall for these losers that i dont even like so much that it becomes nothing but an obsession. Thats far from romance. No one else seems to understand me, they all think im crazy. I'm not. It's just that this world is so meaningless to me, and maybe thats how i ended up having to go to therapy. people dont fucking know me, and i dont even give a shit. I'm a stigmatized girl with a forbidden romance, that no one will ever understand. | |
Does it count if I didnt kiss him back??I WAS JRUNK WHEN I WORTE TGIS!!!!!! I got my first kiss....pretty overrated and alittle sad. kisses are overrated and love is a excuse for being lonely. It was the kiss any stupid girl couldve asked for. He said I could make us perfect, the kiss that will last a lifetime. He wants to know what inncocence tastes like. For a moment were perfect, kind of like heaven. He says Ill be the dream. It was the kiss any girl couldve wished for. It was in the middle of no where, beneath moonlight and stars. two intoxicated kids in the park. It was like a dream, far from reality. I closed my eyes and imagined that you were here with me. I closed my eyes and I feel kisses like butterflies tickling my lips. I dream of you in that moment, the kiss is the sin. his face is the reason. I dont even know his name. But i touch his face and realize its not the same bone structure of yours that I have studied so much, this wasnt the boy I loved.Intoxication is much like suffercating when you know your not dreaming. This wasnt the boy I wanted, I just wanted to be numb, i wanted to be loved, all I ever wanted is gone, my heart has been stolen, but you make me numb, you make me numb. Hes robbed me of my innocence, deep down in my heart this kiss was strickly out of revenge. So much for a good girl reputation. Im forever a slave for your love, but ill make my heart cold and numb. Close my eyes I'm all yours for the night. just take me, dont break me. Touch me, tease me, please me.........teach me. My heart is a toy, its only an object, its only abstract, just waiting to be destroyed.Revenge is sweet, intoxicated love is numbing, ill forever be the prisoner and youll forever be the dream. Forever waiting for an escape, someone to grow insane with me, someone to be my rescue. you were never my rescue. I'm dark now and it doesnt even hurt,i've been burned and it just seems to get worse and worse. this is who i am, i dont own a heart.
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